intuitive learning

When any one of the senses are limited, the rest of them (and more than what is evident) jumps in to compensate...like an octopus and its tentacles... life and its survival kit has many tools!

word actions

Just as words in any language has come about from use and reuse and from modification over time with the need for better 'words' to express, it is the expression that matters more than words themselves. In the absence of speech/voiced expression, the closest that can convey an expression is the word, phrase, sign, symbol. Voiced expression comes with accessories of gestures, tones, stress, facial expression and others developed out of need for other methods to express. New words can be coined as long as the focus is on expression and conveyance and then communication. the measure of communication is the results produced. what shows up is a result of conversations between you to others, others to you and others to others. communication without action is mere gas, passing of memes maybe. The measure is the action and results out of actions. A nonphysical thing impacting the physical is the measure. So what needs be moved and where does it need be moved to and by when? Words which are actions. Is the future speaking through the present. Is causing multiple impacts through choice few. Is conserving and expanding in a recyclable process.

networks

Just as there are contexts within which only certain things show up, while others not, there seems to be another umbrella that has specific forms characteristic/identifiable to it. Forms of which when noticed gives an indication of that umbrella being present (?), like how specific gestures, movements, when noticed can alert to a particular space that a person may be in, eg. a furtive glance, quick noiseless movements may be indicative of something stealthy (?)...networks have objective links. Anything that refers to an objective link triggers a response system within the 'recognition system' of possible form networks...the more number of forms pertaining to a particular network, the more sure will be the 'recognition' of having zero'd onto the network and its a 'aha' moment. there could be specific words coined to identify such 'networks' but this can be seen as a concept which may have its own entelechous development..this may not be new. Brain may be designed to function only by linking forms (??) in which case the links can be chosen and worked and reworked until it gets objective and then built upon it to whatever extent. It can be broken and others formed too.


There seem to be identifiers within a network even though networks may be interconnected. Though maybe objectivized, ignoring a form is missing a chance to follow the thread into the full network, maybe in subtle but profound way connected with other networks.

Substance..

*Stuff gets trapped within words (??), which is then conveyed much like an actual physical object getting transported.*  Is there a palpability to the stuff, something that allows for it to have a kinda 'wave-particle'/real-illusion type quality, as in the substance that is the medium for creation, eg. painter has pigments, writer - strokes. Is there a thing which allows for the palable yet not real creation? ...an actor on stage deals with real palpable 'characters'. the characters are real so long as the drama or whatever is on, but that is not all, that is as real as it is an illusion. it is as real as one would want to believe. One could choose to keep the perspective of the big picture alive by remembering that it is just an act, a make believe, and then choose to participate as though it is real..and things can be moved by such participation..a drama can take a dramatic turn as long as it is consistent with the 'integrity' of that particular setup, one could also bring in something entirely new, even while being within the setup just by virtue of being able to see the big picture.. being in it and yet not in it or rather..not being in it, yet being in it.

Things I identify with..

Never been a great one with words. Have tended to invalidate everything I may want to boldly say, critisizing the point, punching it from many perspectives until I conclude it is better left untold. At least that was so until very recently, when I saw this to be a pattern of mine - of invalidating my ideas, for fear of not being approved/accepted/ridiculed or thought of being called weird. Since I kinda recognized this pattern, have taken on writing down my thoughts, with the thought of revisiting them and seeing how much of it is actually nonsense, and if at all it does have something in it that is not all nonsense. This blogspace, I found, is convenient for this purpose; kinda like the thought sieve that Prof. Dumbledore uses in Harry Potter, only here I need to type out whatever it is that I think may be something I would like to further think about.

Anyways, whats come up today, is this..
I have been on a journey of discovering what/who I am, been on it since sometime now - approximately 4.5 years now. Of course, I had to lose myself before I could go about 'finding' me, and that is an experience I am thinking of writing about sometime soon. I found of late that there are things I connect with and things I dont (nothing unique here!). When I say connect, I mean I identify with it, almost instinctively. It could be a certain note in a song, a particular way of expression, a certain mannerism, a tendency to do something, something that I sense as being very similar if not same as something about me or something that is me. This may be something that has been there all the time..'birds' of a feather' and all that, but iv become aware of this just now. It will be interesting to see how deep and wide this thought goes and how much I may have/not have become aware of as patterns in my connectivity with people/things around me.

More patterns?

Ever noticed how someone deep in thought walks slowly, head bent, not much physical motion...very much like someone carrying a heavy load would. Maybe not directly but then thoughts could be the heaviest mass in the system, considering thoughts can cause action that can move even palpable things.

Stuff are always in circulation. Anything that gets stagnant either gets stale or degenerate or is forceably displaced. What gets increased is that which has more stuff to dissipate into various pathways. Whatever has less circulability and is less touched upon, dies a natural 'death,' where death is mere redistribution of stuff or dislocation into other pathways.

inner and outer worlds

Been in the world within, know the scenery, know the sensations, know the limitations, know the workings, familiar, and unreal. Now time to pour it into another realm where the mechanism is different, just as unreal with more variables since it is the work of the projector, and the loops created through input and output adds to the variability.

React or not

Identify and nail the source of charge. Until the source is identified stop all activities. Declare a breakdown and leave it at that.

Creation?

"Everything has been created from God's exploration of his Self." = the primal element differentiates into matter of which all things of the world are made of. Elements evolve out of the impulse generated in elements by the absolute presence of the primal element (?) -- Aritotalian extention to Plantonian theory of form.
Every cell cut out has totipotency. Everything is a form (?). There are no accidents. There is entelechy. Elements evolve out of the impulse generated by the absolute presence of the primal element. (why not always? why dormancy/hybernation?..limitation of the senses or unawareness of evolution?)

A quote..

"This Diwali, Lets be aware of our inner light. It is beyond the physical body and mind, It is pure, infinite and eternal. knowing of which outshines all darkness (removes all obstacles and dispels all ignorance), awakening the individual to one's true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality .
Rejoice the Inner light in you .
Happy Diwali"

issues..

Sensitivity to ridicule, rather forms of ridicule. Sensitivity? Is it a function of 'listening for,' a function of a predecided listening for, like a tape running nonstop recording a particular frequency as a default running program, whatever immunity developed being a mere function of desensitizing certain aspects (what is this.. form??) of it. If senstivity can be developed for one thing, it can be developed for any other too, with choice, and set on default mode. The human machine is reprogammable with conscious choice. For any machine to be reprogrammable, it is essential that it be thoroughly understood, its design, functions, intricacies, delicate networks, maintenance requirements, optimum function level and req., and repair mechanisms...getting to be a motorhead? Fields of study are interconnected. Science is connected to math and philosophy - interpretative. Physical fields of study are interconnected? Construction, mechanics, actual touchable, feelable, palpable things are interconnected, other than in the conceptual sense? Basic building blocks of substances are more or less same..H, C, S, P, O, etc. (get the details..reference?). Physical things are built from limited common elements (.?). Operatability rules governing them are same? Physical forces operating them are limited and so usable interchangeably? (conceptual... no verifiability. Get facts right!). The road demands to be walked on, not talked on.

*****************
One too many fine details missing between SC and India wordscript. The number of differences and having to work inspite of them creates an ignore/overlook this node area in the assessment system (this is unique to me? A system created from one too many frictions, so a numb-zone to gloss over the friction and bring some livability than 'fight all the way' marathon?). If so, then this must be the difference why an MDA had the QA in full swing and an SC account not - too many battles and too much caution on the other end to stand up to it ? Is LPCH a causuality in the whole process? For sure integrity is dull in this aspect. The degree of lack of integrity shows up in the result. Degree of it less at my end, a little at several other ends, total impact on the actual job at hand. LPCH? How much more or how fast must the leak be dealt with (Whatever it takes,, however fast it needs to be..whatever needs tobe dealt with would be justified when the purpose is met). Even one gap in integrity filled shows up in the result. Integrity has a way of demanding the same for other sources. Authenticity begets authenticity, so does integrity. It may not be easy. No pain no gain. Too much noise. Better noise than mediocred silence. Others are too cautious about it. Tread slowly written with large invisible letters. It may just be a conversation in the head. No reality to it. No stated rule. Communication gap allowing for presumptions. Subjectivity coming from lack of clarity. There may not be a solution. There is no problem without a solution. A problem holds a gift within it. Seeking the gift is what the whole solution-seeking is about. Every problem has a solution. Demand it and the most stoic concedes to an alternative plan, as has been made evident. This is the source of resignation about the job. The number of spokes broken equals degree of unworkabiltiy equals degree of unproductivity equals degree of results overall equals sense of aliveness. It takes very less to restore integrity, much more in the will to follow it through, but very less to restore. It takes declaration and standing by it no matter what. i will be listened to as a problem causer again. Problem? solution. twins. problem-causer? solution-finder. it is boring to be an ornament or furniture, just part of something when someting worthwhile can be created in distance form and time. worth the investment of resources, time, effort, will, much more rewarding overall.

Networking..

What is missing is to be brought forth where i am to see the result out there..more like a projector in a theater. Turn the thought sequence anyway which and if arriving at the same spot over and over, then better to save that spot for further reference. This is much in link with an experience had over and over, much like is circles. Once the experience has been fully accepted in all its length and width and lesson learnt, that cycle no more happens, the next level in the process opens up, like a video game wiht multiple levels. How is this thought-vein similar to the 'conclusion' of the former? Are they in different paradigms or just another dimension to the same? If a nodal point is arrived at over and over again, then maybe just realizing that it is a point arrived at multiple times is itself the entry point to the next level. Maybe at that point the network is seen more clearly, more interconnections visible than was formerly, and that visibility is the bottomline from which the next level is to be arrived at. Strangely now the two thought-veins have linked.

pretences..

Is pretense important? Make-believe? even when u know it is false, not permanent, just there for the sake of it, know it is not permanent? Could it be a matter of so much resignation and cynicism that you miss being resigned and cynical? Being in anyplace familiar for long enough breeds a certain acceptance of it (Stockholm syndrome) which needs to be gone beyond to even know what else could be there. It takes building a muscle necessary to withstand the uncertainty and self-doubt to test what could be new and unfamiliar. It must already be present in some unrecotgnized form through other means of adapting to changes within the brain system, though not consciously recognized. Anything that is missing, needs to be brought forth where I am. To bring forth something new, it needs to be traveled on a little distance to first see if it is feasible before directing or recommending it to another. Maybe presence a pathway itself isa means of being aware of such a path, as an option, to be first traveled on before further emphasis. Maybe the very process of recommending it causes for one to travel it in a certain way for creativity happens with a little acceptance of it oneself from which further creation happens? (maybe it is a part of the creativity process..to accept something of something for development to happen, even if for alittle while, as recognized forms in the brain...much as though words, even if inappropriate, presences links which it holds within its ambit to the utterer/listener just by virtue of such a word having been uttered.. a literal 'word creates the world' format!?)

Incompletions

Something goes wrong, something goes incomplete, and the incompletion leaks as blame, complaint, accusation, emotional outburst, deriling, act, racket, strong suit, manifestation of the 'sentence,' etc.etc.etc. Deal with completion, not the incompletion.

Auto-piloting - tapping the power of the subconscious

Auto-pilotism - repeat and repeat actions. Autoassess the number of variables/types and 'see' number of repeatedness of some element. Autopilotism is just repeating the repeated items, while consciousness is directed elsewhere. If the acuteness of repeated items as patterns is also recognized, the chances of error is even less. If 10 items can go into autopiloting, with observation 40 can go too.

strange disquiet within..

There is a strange unrest within, a feeling like as though a stream is becoming a river, and then picking up momentum and conserving energy and building up force towards the ocean where it will lose itself, and be found in a way unrecognizable as water but will be all that water was and a lot more.

There is a dancer matching steps to rhythm and beat, free yet controlled, sensuous graceful movements in every line of her body.

There is a musical note within, at the heart of which is a yearn and a mirth, drawing things towards itself, rejoicing of itself, and yet at once reaching out and connecting with the essense of things around.

There are patterns in just about everything, some recognized, some not as yet but sensed to be there even if not yet known.

There seems to be beauty in everything, camouflaged in several ways and beguiling to be found. Hues seem vibrant in their own shades, sometimes merging into newer shades, being on their own ground and quietly making a statement.

There are several things waiting to be told and heard, words drifting in and out of the mind attempting to capture the essense of it all within their ambit but somehow failing; whatever it captures blooms out mushroom-like into other veins of thought, growing as though it has a life of its own.

Flight of thought and imagination in hues, flavors, and rhythm, with ebbs and teddies every now and then, revealing depth and heights and width, opening up the world around in dimensions never seen before. Seeing, hearing, sensing, tasting, feeling sometimes as if all anew with an acuity, not quite like that of a new born, but with a certain quality to it that is discerning without being judgemental or evaluative.

And then, there are moments when I sense being a force to reckon with, with energy and zeal to make anything happen, a sense of being fully present, fully aware of anything and everything, and yet being calm and poignant and poised, ready for whatever lies ahead. At such times, past, present, and future all seem to be rolled into an all-pervasive timezone, when everything I have learned and imbibed or have inferred from thinking things through - all make sense with no confusion and with such clarity that anything new that may come, however weird it may be, can be explained or arrived at with alacrity. Such are the moments when I wonder if the world is really my own creation and everything brought forth by me, for me; as though I am the creator, preserver and destroyer; performer, audience and critic; physical, abstract, and sublime all in one.

It is comforting and scary. Feels like a mystery slowly unraveling, and a purpose is to be known. Whatever be that lies ahead, it is for sure an answer to what I have been seeking. The entelechy of some force that has been driving me to be curious, inquire, explore, associate, and learn may probably be moving towards its own fulfillment.

However may things be coming to be, I want to know this well, and better still, to be able to create newer realities for myself and everybody around me while being in the awareness that these moments bring to me, and have everyone around ongoingly creating their own realities, being magnificant in their own light, being fully aware of who they really are and what they are really capable of. It inspires me to be involved in creating a world that works for everybody. I was told that to resolve a problem you need to be able to see things from a fresh perspective, maybe from outside the problem, to see that which cannot be seen from being within the problem. I would like to think that, that is what is happening.

req.

it is not about showing. it is about moving. it is not about surviving. it is about creating, and it requires components consistent with what is required to create.

Stem cells or meristems

"Immune potential of umbilical cord blood is low. Graft-versus-host reactions occur less frequently"(when compared to adult stem cells). Wonder if the decision making patterns of an adult modify its morphology enough to reflect the state of its being. An adult stem cell transplant have greater chances of a graft-versus-host disease or of host rejection of the graft than the transplant of stem cells from that of the umbilicus - a product of a li'l human being that has not yet found ways of 'being'(?) but is as fresh as the stem cells themselves (?). The immune system is the protection mechanism - a part of the survival kit - that protects and preserves an organism, from 'another.' As it is in the macrocosm, so it is in the microcosm. Wonder how far is it true that the intricacies that differentiate one into apparent two is in response to the interaction between anti-particle (or anti-state) and its state. Wonder if this is is a thought that could be true onto the macrocosm.

doubts

doubts arise when there is still a gap between knowing and that which needs be known. the type and nature of doubt reveal the extent of the gap.

multi-system'd body

It takes no effort. Let the mind wander on its own and it goes on a tangent all on its own. follow it, and it is like following a child let to explore some space at its own liking..one moment stop at one thing, be all immersed in it like the universe is to be found in it, the next moment glance through any an sundry and off. it takes no effort. it has something to think about anything adn everything, preconditioned i suppose to think and think and think. wonder if emotions have a personalit of its own, if considered to have a life of its own with modes of behaviour its own, which somehow is linked to the whole persona system and is like team work with individual members playing in tandem. could it be so? for sure hormones have a mode of conduct, emergy levels have, the mind and thought system can be counted as one, the body clock has one, ..separate systems functioning together, awaking, eating, sleeping together,,and called one body ?!!

Dimensions

peoples problems are 'real' to them. why should the apparently real things be treated as being real, not as illusion? why should the 'real'ness of one dimension be given due reverence and validity in that dimension when it is all illusion? how much of reality is to be treated as illusion? or rather, if illusions create the apparent reality, retaining the 'reality' in its dimension is necessary to create something worthwhile out of it. If a dot is placed in one dimension and another dot in another dimension, the two cannot be joined and called a line. if it is called a line, then the line exists in a third dimension that has the two dots lying in that dimension simultaneously.. then that line cannot be part of the first dimension, only one of the dots is......looks like logic is an inherent part of things, but then nothing is invalid. everthing has been created as a form, and it has its own entelechy to fulfil or not (??). How come everything created does not go towards its own fulfilment. how come there are stalled ideas/creations/dispersed energies/uncompleted work? if elements generate by an impulse by an absolute presence, then how come the presence becomes not-present and there is no autogeneration from within the forms...anti-particle reactivity? how does this anti-particle thing work? Satan is apparent anti-particle, so must also be the 'anti-particle' itself...or is it an equal force to reckon with, the interaction of both forces creating the field for creativity and all else to show up?
if integrity of one dimension is to be maintained, then there are already 'other' things in a dimension? this does not tie with the 'one' thing (intricacies of the difference retaining the twoness, with perhaps the particle-antiparticle response creating the intricacies, with time and space providing the medium for palpability in a particular dimension. if an element of time and/or element of space is altered, it is another dimension). science and its discoveries now tie in with the thought chain.

Meristematic

"For Aristotle, matter is the undifferentiated primal element: it is rather that from which things develop than a thing in itself. The development of particular things from this germinal matter consists in differentiation, the acquiring of particular forms of which the knowable universe consists (cf. Formal cause). The perfection of the form of a thing is its entelechy in virtue of which it attains its fullest realization of function (De anima, ii. 2). Thus the entelechy of the body is the soul. The origin of the differentiation process is to be sought in a prime mover, i.e. pure form entirely separate from all matter, eternal, unchangeable, operating not by its own activity but by the impulse which its own absolute existence excites in matter."

Dualities

Dualities - unconnected forms and realities from it. realities and illusions. real and manifestations as realities (illusions)
what is seen is a mere representation of an ideal, mere. Created out of available resources. Each resource in itself being mere representation of the ideal. So, perfect is yet to be, what is is the best of the lot - comparative.
logic and intuition are one and the same? Dualities exist???? night and day are perception-dependent. Presence of sunlight and absence is day and night. Things behave differently in the presence and absence of sunlight. Systems have evolved or adapted based on the sequence of events that happen in the presence or absence of sunlight. It is a duality out of behavioral, evident, functional, reasoned, conventional, differences. There are several other dualities (?!). Gender. logic/intuision. hot/cold. positive/negative. why is it so difficult to accept dualities as one entity..as one and the same? Because of the intricacies involved that differentiates the apparent two.
if it is all apparent two, then what communicates between the two if it is actually one? what is the need for communication with what is one. communication is between two? Commune is bringing together. when it is one, what to bring together? The senses have their limitations. What it senses is structually, functionally limited. It infers with the use of the brain which is again structurally and functionally limited, from being limited by space and time. What it senses it concludes to be as minimum two, with any thing and everything being another, so additions or multiples from two. Duality is necessary, or defaulted to make sense of the many, two being the basic most unit as per logical deduction. Again deduced using the limited resources of senses and brain. what is communication? Communication is a means of transferring data by bringing together what is perceived to be two. Like electricity passes between two wires for which the wires needs be brought together? why is communication required? But there are others (people, things). The struggle is with dealing with the intricacies that keep the apparent two, two. How to deal with the intricacies? can they be seen as one? The intricacies are the forms? like sand on a wet something (?) with each grain being a unique, form or a mere representation of the ideal (?). If so then who creates the original? the one? then how come there is variety of forms? because the one has created different forms at different instances. then how come everything is moving towards reaching it, and ending up with mere representations? why is there an apparent two? why is there a need for such intricacies? If one is creating and not creating waste, then how come things are representatives, not masterpieces? if everything is a masterpiece, which it is. things are the way they are. everything has something unique in it, a form, created. What is perceived to be waste is mere details, the form has been created, and is visible to the discerning. if everything is a form..form of the one. form is form, not a representative.
rules. entelechy.
whats data?
whats intellect?
what is purpose?
how is logic and intuition one?
what are rules?
LOgic always comes from or follows agreement. Accepted links are 'objective' and are called premises. When one is accepted and another and another is accepted, so 'this' is accepted. Once fixed as concluded by agreement, that can be fallen back on for the next structure to be created.
how do agreements come about? what is agreement? Sigmund freud  - psychoanalysis.

why is it difficult to incorporate a conclusion into routine conduct? Limitation of the senses, 'logical' incorporation of thought into patterns that give action. A concept does not become action. It needs to get incorporated into the system(s) and accepted and become one with the system for actions and result to show up.

Team.

The road to santiago
In a day, when you don’t come across any problems, you can be sure that you are traveling in a wrong path
IN love with light!
withheld communication, unexpressed emotions (fear) work its way through, its own entelechy working its way out to completion (?). A person is a mixture of possibilities and incompletions. Survival is a function of living with the incompletions amongs people/circumstances/pace of day-to-day existence, with the act, strong suits, rackets, sentence, all its survival weapons. Whereever the self sees its expression and freedom from constraints, creativity happens. Unusual/abnormal pathways are manifestations of incompletions. Deal with completion, not the incompletion. Fear not when another reach out in the presence of light, like a shoot opeing up to light from the soil. Reality as seen is mere illusion, unreal. Onaly what is real exists, rest as wispy as illusions are malleable, ductile and disappearing/disappearable. Deal with what is real, only what is real can be dealt with. What is real can only be dealt with what is real. Know the real elements.
***Team dynamics - interpersonal communication dynamics - coordination, deliverables, just in time, project velocity, expectations, ****
Phrasing wiki
Hari
money
Team members meeting as though strangers with very few in common to talk about. We might as well be from different companies doing similar work, and we call us team, for the work shared..SHARED? more like someone allocates and is told be shared between others, the 'others'  here as mere reminders that i am not alone in this! Talk requires an ice breaker, the gammut of 'pass the test of the senses' analysis and then any attempt at rapport beyond the 'howz work'.. the name and the person needs to be linked. the name is remembered (!) only as a mail ID on outlook and remembered only if i happen to delete that routinely, else i dont know anything to associate that name with, and so mention of it requires me to scan the people's list and check u belong in which group? how do i know u? which place? this company? ex-colleage? Automatic..

resistance/hesitation to move forward comes at the point of uncertainty. Unless the goal is clear there is no motivator to take a risk. If goal is present, clarity on finer details if missing is another uncertain point which again chain reacts unto the point of action-taking. When multiple to-do pathways glimpsed, an added element of uncertainty - which way? Time limit added with uncertainty - pressure, and the identy resurface to survive the situation. When it is seen that the traveller is the only one on the road, the presence or absence of another is mere coincidence, then everything is a potential resource, nothing could possibly be unsurmountable when reaching he destination is paramount and you are the only one who could find out a way (snce there is noone else). The ssurvival instinct manifests itself in multiple ways. it is part of what is means to be human. It is a tappable force, which when harnessed causes ways of being formidable. It is part of the state of being in integrity.

The road..

It takes immense courage in the face of obstacles to put one step in front of another and keep on. the goal when it is more impoartant than anything else is sufficient to overcome any fear, any situation, anyone. it is when the goal is in doubt that everthing else including ones own conversations as wisp y as it is could stop. the path knows no fear, knows no conversations. it only knows action taken or not taken. it only knows whats so and what options from whats so and the goal. all else is surreal, mere ilusions to test, t challenge, to strengthen, to persevere, to aallow for future steps in mysterious ways.

Two-in-one engine, Brain!

Left brain - logic and reasoning. Right - intuition. Equal forces. Can create together. Can function independently. When one gets greater attention via input, the other lets its absence known. It is much like a wholesome diet. When nutrients are deficient, the system shows the impact of its deficiency. Nothing wrong or right. It is just something deficient. As the body grows, it requires input consistent with its size and function and pace of development. Like the micronutrients that are not so micro in its necessity, there may be other processes in the background as yet undistinguished consciously that may be keeping the system in optimal order. Neuroscience is just yet another field of study in a stage of development, much like any other field is. There is a Eureka moment on the simplest of things even after years of study, by reintepretation, or from a fresh perspective. Only the learning seems constant and the awe/amazement of it, and the curiosity and inquiry paving way to more learning. The child-adult-parent element in the mental makeup determining the direction taken and the discovery thereof.

Two-in-one engine, Brain!

Left brain - logic and reasoning. Right - intuition. Equal forces. Can create together. Can function independently. When one gets greater attention via input, the other lets its absence known. It is much like a wholesome diet. When nutrients are deficient, the system shows the impact of its deficiency. Nothing wrong or right. It is just something deficient. As the body grows, it requires input consistent with its size and function and pace of development. Like the micronutrients that are not so micro in its necessity, there may be other processes in the background as yet undistinguished consciously that may be keeping the system in optimal order. Neuroscience is just yet another field of study in a stage of development, much like any other field is. There is a Eureka moment on the simplest of things even after years of study, by reintepretation, or from a fresh perspective. Only the learning seems constant and the awe/amazement of it, and the curiosity and inquiry paving way to more learning. The child-adult-parent concept in personalities determining the direction.

Identity

the identity is the creation of the self, active or passive, and contains elements of itself in its creation. Satan was a part of the Garden of Eden and fell from grace but he has elements of the angel that he was and has a religion to which he adheres and lives up to the purpose, forwarding and/or refining that which the angels aspire to (says an interpretation of satans story). if negative is positive camouflaged, the identity may not be any different. it is not negative but a version of the same camouflaged, and surviving in the face of its resistence, not having been accepted. a child would do the same adn develop traits based on its interpretation of things and make decisions that defines it character. It seems complexly simple (it may be another interpretation but one worth closely examining, for its details may reveal intricacies that give clue to what makes up the whole, where contradictions are valid and a logically mesh with the whole completing the loop).
the identity has immense potential, being a creation of the self (?). it can make things happen and still find a loop to do its own stuff. if all its energies are channelized into a specific direction, the velocity is unimaginable. if it can be compartmentalized such that it is at 100% at one moment on one, 100% at another moment in another direction, multiple tasking gets a new meaning. if the identity and self are realized as one and part of the same, the lack of resistence or rather the energy of resistence is redirected to construction. The possibilities are immense.
a step taken forward, and the meaning-making machine throws its interpretations, associating and linking existing meanings with new forms the emerge. A process of natural selection goes on from the meaning pool, i guess. A lot of waste generated like the monkey with the decrypter throwing random possibilties together and there is possibly one code in the whole junk that would be the shakesperean sonnet decoded. Needle in a haystack! or the formula for usable datacollection from the junk generated needs be identified, or the leak in the process that gives rise to the waste meanings needs be identified. There maybe a significance generator around that releases the belchable gas. Or the system needs to have a gas-expeller incorporated, much like the toilet in a house, so that does not foul the rest of the system. An organized foul collector.

Patterns

much resistance.. so much of past sitting out there in the future giving my present. reminds of the marathon i was running sometime back. the resistance and perceptions all my own and tearing it through i did run. and how! With such practise i should be able to go pretty far. guess the practise has slackened or the resistance level has slackened or the want to run has gone down or the scenery has gotten more appealing than the goal or the thought of being different and unique (abnormal) and having to fight it allover again is slowing me down or the meaning of what the past had represented and the fight through has been interpretted in a disempowering way that decisions made along the way is now constraining me to run a similar track. the experience and discoveries on the past run being priceless, the decisions still holded onto. ignoring does no good. the ostrich does a good job of it in the mud, and gets eaten. .... stuff from the past, undealt with, bringing all incomplete stuff relived constraining me in the present. next crocodile is just resurfacing. breakdown and breakthrough is in the language. whats so and the integrity of whats so oand the learning and fun through it is only what is real...and it is all a choice.
there is only the future I am living into. there is no past. past exists only in language and so does future. there is only the present and the future one is living into, and the future is the next moment , call it second, minute, hour, day, week, whatever blaah. time exists only in language with symbols as structures to keep its existence in place, it is called a clock. things are complexly simple, a conglomeration of simple things, as can be observed in the very chemical constitution of things around with physics holding them in place. simple forces arranged in certain ways. Four unique arrangements identified as distinct, as basic variations and so categoriezed as 4 types. simple elements arranged in varied ways to form 'simple' and 'complex' things. someone called one simple and another more intricate in arrangement as complex. (blah blah... too defensive and eager to invalidate so nothing should be thought through to completion. one too many open windows and the system is sleeping, unable to process anyting further...if that is not blah. the identity's patterns are too obvious not to be recognized at the very incipient stage, but then it is the identity that knows it first and the first to fool the brain not to recognize..Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde indeed). the identity is at play since morning pulling out all stops to restrict. a timetable would be of help. any lapse in the schedule it should be the work of 'it'. the number of things left out not done at the end of the day should say the number of times it was at play and number of time it was conquered. only you can remember to follow the timeline, it will hate it. if it gets smarter, the timeline is still met, things would move be it the work of it or not. the next foreseeable would be quality of work in each item. that bridge will be crossed when i come to it. remember to make the timeline. it is smart and will find a loop through this too, the things done and not done will still speak for itself.
there is a pattern in the apparent haywiredness. a moment of beauty followed by junk and then the self reasserts again and then down, like a cycle. there is so much that the self can tolerate, and then the monotony of it brings back some nonsensing. wonder if the subconscous is aware of this pattern (it is now!) and if so there could be derivable info from the patterning and dismantling, things which cant be otherwise caught, much like a breakdown calls forth closer look and reforming and creation, and using the energy thereof for constructive purposes, this nonsense phase must be hiding something to be discovered in retrospect. too clever this identity, runnign a racket for sure but it has its merits unrevealed.

this and that..

undelivered communication. anger at not having gotten something so fundamental, anger at not having distinguished it to people so near and dear, for having allowed it to go so long while i am still around.
there is no easy way to alter reality? it cant be so simple, like a will and wish and off, something new happens! like magic? it is not like blink of the eye?!? it is when im in the same world as another, and no so much seeped in it, that i see the big picure and know why are things the way they are and where is it leading to and why, totally in sync with it that the illusion of it can be magicized.  there is no reality to it anyways. it is a dimension several depths/heights/levels intricate.
Once again, i wish for a virtual ctrl+f button to find me things im searching for!
It is so easy to forget ourselves and be the story, participation is all that is required. Participation is necessary for the story to continue in any direction, and that is the very same thing that inspires no-detachment. Be in water, surrounded by water, seeped in water, but not wet.
body and mind are connected (again!). Suppression lifted and congestion/cold off!
The true test of anything is when the rubber meets the road. Things in the laboratory has not made a difference, neither has things in the head.

Limits.

Anytime there is a scope for breaking free from a boundary/limitation, the tensile strength of that boundary is revealed. Its strength, the conversations that hold it in place, the fears, anxieties, the worst probable futures, things that have gone wrong after working through and getting right - the latent strength of the identity is exposed. The stronger the act, the bigger the possibility!

'Thought' conversations

there is a discord between spoken words, written words and thought words. What is thought is not as easily expressed in writing (because of electrical connections that keep the circuit complete?), or spoken and gotten as is thought through (because the neural channels to produce sound and receive sound are not the same as written?). How does thinking words happen? It is possible to have an entire monologue, very succinct and detailed, even visualize the letters (morases),,but how does the cojplete conversation happen? in the absence of a capturing media, the brain strings ideas together, much as a pres\requisite to sequenced sensible writing or speaking. the process is similar only incipient and faster since it is not slowed down by what it takes to write or articulate or the process that ensures a speech is gotten. in the absence of cross mechanisms the bbrain shoots away at its pace. it shoots away as long as there is a thinker that directs the thought, captured in the brains own clipboard, retained as long as the same thought is retriggered  maybe until a synapse is formed?. The same pathway can be reignited when another vein of thought is activated forming interconnections and an insight as a result happens from the crossconnection. the meme ecosystem for creativity seems to become valid perhaps with further thought or maybe it is an 'also' process.

Being in the zone - dance.m4v

Musings..

Have taken to semi-conscious writing since some time now. When I say semi-conscious, I mean starting with a conscious voiced thought on a notepad/word document and then allowing fingers to do their job while I semi-consciously follow a thought sequence through to a conclusion, while my fingers do the job of a typist capturing it. Kinda brings Bruce Willis' 'sixth sense' to mind, the part where he narrates a process of writing on paper, and writing beyond the point where the mind is consciously doing the work, until the brain is only partly aware that it is writing; I guess it unlocks his subconscious mind's ramblings on paper. Well, whatever be the process, it is certainly therapeutic to me. Been saving some of them here and there and thought it would be worthwhile to bring it all together in one spot. I call them Musings..