undelivered communication. anger at not having gotten something so fundamental, anger at not having distinguished it to people so near and dear, for having allowed it to go so long while i am still around.
there is no easy way to alter reality? it cant be so simple, like a will and wish and off, something new happens! like magic? it is not like blink of the eye?!? it is when im in the same world as another, and no so much seeped in it, that i see the big picure and know why are things the way they are and where is it leading to and why, totally in sync with it that the illusion of it can be magicized. there is no reality to it anyways. it is a dimension several depths/heights/levels intricate.
Once again, i wish for a virtual ctrl+f button to find me things im searching for!
It is so easy to forget ourselves and be the story, participation is all that is required. Participation is necessary for the story to continue in any direction, and that is the very same thing that inspires no-detachment. Be in water, surrounded by water, seeped in water, but not wet.
body and mind are connected (again!). Suppression lifted and congestion/cold off!
The true test of anything is when the rubber meets the road. Things in the laboratory has not made a difference, neither has things in the head.
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