Never been a great one with words. Have tended to invalidate everything I may want to boldly say, critisizing the point, punching it from many perspectives until I conclude it is better left untold. At least that was so until very recently, when I saw this to be a pattern of mine - of invalidating my ideas, for fear of not being approved/accepted/ridiculed or thought of being called weird. Since I kinda recognized this pattern, have taken on writing down my thoughts, with the thought of revisiting them and seeing how much of it is actually nonsense, and if at all it does have something in it that is not all nonsense. This blogspace, I found, is convenient for this purpose; kinda like the thought sieve that Prof. Dumbledore uses in Harry Potter, only here I need to type out whatever it is that I think may be something I would like to further think about.
Anyways, whats come up today, is this..
I have been on a journey of discovering what/who I am, been on it since sometime now - approximately 4.5 years now. Of course, I had to lose myself before I could go about 'finding' me, and that is an experience I am thinking of writing about sometime soon. I found of late that there are things I connect with and things I dont (nothing unique here!). When I say connect, I mean I identify with it, almost instinctively. It could be a certain note in a song, a particular way of expression, a certain mannerism, a tendency to do something, something that I sense as being very similar if not same as something about me or something that is me. This may be something that has been there all the time..'birds' of a feather' and all that, but iv become aware of this just now. It will be interesting to see how deep and wide this thought goes and how much I may have/not have become aware of as patterns in my connectivity with people/things around me.
Anyways, whats come up today, is this..
I have been on a journey of discovering what/who I am, been on it since sometime now - approximately 4.5 years now. Of course, I had to lose myself before I could go about 'finding' me, and that is an experience I am thinking of writing about sometime soon. I found of late that there are things I connect with and things I dont (nothing unique here!). When I say connect, I mean I identify with it, almost instinctively. It could be a certain note in a song, a particular way of expression, a certain mannerism, a tendency to do something, something that I sense as being very similar if not same as something about me or something that is me. This may be something that has been there all the time..'birds' of a feather' and all that, but iv become aware of this just now. It will be interesting to see how deep and wide this thought goes and how much I may have/not have become aware of as patterns in my connectivity with people/things around me.
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