Mind's laboratory

..is where it is still safe to play out thoughts and examine things and put two and two together in all quirky ways and see what happens. It is not so much like in the presence of an intelligence as much as in the space where such activity could be done and be ok without bouncing off an opinion or judgment - that will be there later, but before that a space to figure things out, to let imagination have its playtime.

On selfishness..

While everyone ultimately does things for their own benefit, and everything is for a very selfish reason, why is it difficult to admit that it is so? Why is being selfish defaulted into the 'bad' basket? Upbringing? indoctrination of presumed/imbibed morality? misplaced loyalty? misunderstood value system? kafkaisc existential confusion leading to seek guidance from sources external, and thereby external sources' own selfishness dictating/propagating that others (themselves) is more important than oneself (you)? a Darwinian survival tactic propagated by the dominant, creating a hierarchy that ensures survival of fittest propagator in that order? a reliance on sensory input sans insight in interpreting whatever happens in the world outside oneself? blind acceptance(reception) of things without awareness of that accepted?

Lonesome journey..

Life is a lonesome journey. You gotta find ur way through, learn ur tricks to maneuver through the thick and thin waters, discover what lies within u, what are things outside of u, how to things behave, howz the weather, how does it all affect my journey, am I headed towards where i want to be reaching? How far out is it from where i am? Who are my foes, my friends? How much can i indulge? How much do i need to contain myself? How much can i rely on others? How much on myself? How do i tackle congenial and adverse situations? What beliefs do i hold on to?

Life is a lonesome journey of discovery, creation, and learning.

support

Why is it so difficult to keep on going one step ahead of the other when the goal is clear, requirements are clear, .... mere approval, reassurance. When the seeker takes refuge in the formless and undefined, all else becomes irrelevant. It is not out there. It is here - outside of me including me.

Judgments and evaluations..

Opinions (judgments/evaluations) like air is everywhere. Everything is shaped (instigated?) by it. Like it or hate it. It could be one other necessary evil like money....not 'necessary'..its just there, like earth made of sand, water of H2O. Its the material of thought.

Of jobs and mindsets..

After this long, im still incomplete about not having live experience with human anatomy/physiology studies. One step away from actual. conceptual functionalism mostly. Working at one-step away. As jobs tend to make a mindset consistent with the nature of work, wonder how much is my nature of work impacting my connectability with things..is it all one-step away?

Onward movement..

At odd moments, it seems like there has not been any regression at all, like it has only been an onward movement like that of a convection of components, where the components have only been very well stirred to move onward to newer grounds or newer levels. As if What has been learnt has been learnt, not lost in any way, only in some way reperceived, reviewed and modified dynamically, rest else has only been broken and rebuilt into newer forms (?) or realities.

Being human.

Along with the context of what it means to be human, must be an ever-present, subtly all-pervading resignation and cynicism within which peole operate..a broth that cultures comformity.

Substance..

*Stuff gets trapped within words (??), which is then conveyed much like an actual physical object getting transported.*  Is there a palpability to the stuff, something that allows for it to have a kinda 'wave-particle'/real-illusion type quality, as in the substance that is the medium for creation, eg. painter has pigments, writer - strokes. Is there a thing which allows for the palable yet not real creation? ...an actor on stage deals with real palpable 'characters'. the characters are real so long as the drama or whatever is on, but that is not all, that is as real as it is an illusion. it is as real as one would want to believe. One could choose to keep the perspective of the big picture alive by remembering that it is just an act, a make believe, and then choose to participate as though it is real..and things can be moved by such participation..a drama can take a dramatic turn as long as it is consistent with the 'integrity' of that particular setup, one could also bring in something entirely new, even while being within the setup just by virtue of being able to see the big picture.. being in it and yet not in it or rather..not being in it, yet being in it.

inner and outer worlds

Been in the world within, know the scenery, know the sensations, know the limitations, know the workings, familiar, and unreal. Now time to pour it into another realm where the mechanism is different, just as unreal with more variables since it is the work of the projector, and the loops created through input and output adds to the variability.

React or not

Identify and nail the source of charge. Until the source is identified stop all activities. Declare a breakdown and leave it at that.

issues..

Sensitivity to ridicule, rather forms of ridicule. Sensitivity? Is it a function of 'listening for,' a function of a predecided listening for, like a tape running nonstop recording a particular frequency as a default running program, whatever immunity developed being a mere function of desensitizing certain aspects (what is this.. form??) of it. If senstivity can be developed for one thing, it can be developed for any other too, with choice, and set on default mode. The human machine is reprogammable with conscious choice. For any machine to be reprogrammable, it is essential that it be thoroughly understood, its design, functions, intricacies, delicate networks, maintenance requirements, optimum function level and req., and repair mechanisms...getting to be a motorhead? Fields of study are interconnected. Science is connected to math and philosophy - interpretative. Physical fields of study are interconnected? Construction, mechanics, actual touchable, feelable, palpable things are interconnected, other than in the conceptual sense? Basic building blocks of substances are more or less same..H, C, S, P, O, etc. (get the details..reference?). Physical things are built from limited common elements (.?). Operatability rules governing them are same? Physical forces operating them are limited and so usable interchangeably? (conceptual... no verifiability. Get facts right!). The road demands to be walked on, not talked on.

*****************
One too many fine details missing between SC and India wordscript. The number of differences and having to work inspite of them creates an ignore/overlook this node area in the assessment system (this is unique to me? A system created from one too many frictions, so a numb-zone to gloss over the friction and bring some livability than 'fight all the way' marathon?). If so, then this must be the difference why an MDA had the QA in full swing and an SC account not - too many battles and too much caution on the other end to stand up to it ? Is LPCH a causuality in the whole process? For sure integrity is dull in this aspect. The degree of lack of integrity shows up in the result. Degree of it less at my end, a little at several other ends, total impact on the actual job at hand. LPCH? How much more or how fast must the leak be dealt with (Whatever it takes,, however fast it needs to be..whatever needs tobe dealt with would be justified when the purpose is met). Even one gap in integrity filled shows up in the result. Integrity has a way of demanding the same for other sources. Authenticity begets authenticity, so does integrity. It may not be easy. No pain no gain. Too much noise. Better noise than mediocred silence. Others are too cautious about it. Tread slowly written with large invisible letters. It may just be a conversation in the head. No reality to it. No stated rule. Communication gap allowing for presumptions. Subjectivity coming from lack of clarity. There may not be a solution. There is no problem without a solution. A problem holds a gift within it. Seeking the gift is what the whole solution-seeking is about. Every problem has a solution. Demand it and the most stoic concedes to an alternative plan, as has been made evident. This is the source of resignation about the job. The number of spokes broken equals degree of unworkabiltiy equals degree of unproductivity equals degree of results overall equals sense of aliveness. It takes very less to restore integrity, much more in the will to follow it through, but very less to restore. It takes declaration and standing by it no matter what. i will be listened to as a problem causer again. Problem? solution. twins. problem-causer? solution-finder. it is boring to be an ornament or furniture, just part of something when someting worthwhile can be created in distance form and time. worth the investment of resources, time, effort, will, much more rewarding overall.

pretences..

Is pretense important? Make-believe? even when u know it is false, not permanent, just there for the sake of it, know it is not permanent? Could it be a matter of so much resignation and cynicism that you miss being resigned and cynical? Being in anyplace familiar for long enough breeds a certain acceptance of it (Stockholm syndrome) which needs to be gone beyond to even know what else could be there. It takes building a muscle necessary to withstand the uncertainty and self-doubt to test what could be new and unfamiliar. It must already be present in some unrecotgnized form through other means of adapting to changes within the brain system, though not consciously recognized. Anything that is missing, needs to be brought forth where I am. To bring forth something new, it needs to be traveled on a little distance to first see if it is feasible before directing or recommending it to another. Maybe presence a pathway itself isa means of being aware of such a path, as an option, to be first traveled on before further emphasis. Maybe the very process of recommending it causes for one to travel it in a certain way for creativity happens with a little acceptance of it oneself from which further creation happens? (maybe it is a part of the creativity process..to accept something of something for development to happen, even if for alittle while, as recognized forms in the brain...much as though words, even if inappropriate, presences links which it holds within its ambit to the utterer/listener just by virtue of such a word having been uttered.. a literal 'word creates the world' format!?)

Incompletions

Something goes wrong, something goes incomplete, and the incompletion leaks as blame, complaint, accusation, emotional outburst, deriling, act, racket, strong suit, manifestation of the 'sentence,' etc.etc.etc. Deal with completion, not the incompletion.

Auto-piloting - tapping the power of the subconscious

Auto-pilotism - repeat and repeat actions. Autoassess the number of variables/types and 'see' number of repeatedness of some element. Autopilotism is just repeating the repeated items, while consciousness is directed elsewhere. If the acuteness of repeated items as patterns is also recognized, the chances of error is even less. If 10 items can go into autopiloting, with observation 40 can go too.

req.

it is not about showing. it is about moving. it is not about surviving. it is about creating, and it requires components consistent with what is required to create.

Stem cells or meristems

"Immune potential of umbilical cord blood is low. Graft-versus-host reactions occur less frequently"(when compared to adult stem cells). Wonder if the decision making patterns of an adult modify its morphology enough to reflect the state of its being. An adult stem cell transplant have greater chances of a graft-versus-host disease or of host rejection of the graft than the transplant of stem cells from that of the umbilicus - a product of a li'l human being that has not yet found ways of 'being'(?) but is as fresh as the stem cells themselves (?). The immune system is the protection mechanism - a part of the survival kit - that protects and preserves an organism, from 'another.' As it is in the macrocosm, so it is in the microcosm. Wonder how far is it true that the intricacies that differentiate one into apparent two is in response to the interaction between anti-particle (or anti-state) and its state. Wonder if this is is a thought that could be true onto the macrocosm.

doubts

doubts arise when there is still a gap between knowing and that which needs be known. the type and nature of doubt reveal the extent of the gap.

multi-system'd body

It takes no effort. Let the mind wander on its own and it goes on a tangent all on its own. follow it, and it is like following a child let to explore some space at its own liking..one moment stop at one thing, be all immersed in it like the universe is to be found in it, the next moment glance through any an sundry and off. it takes no effort. it has something to think about anything adn everything, preconditioned i suppose to think and think and think. wonder if emotions have a personalit of its own, if considered to have a life of its own with modes of behaviour its own, which somehow is linked to the whole persona system and is like team work with individual members playing in tandem. could it be so? for sure hormones have a mode of conduct, emergy levels have, the mind and thought system can be counted as one, the body clock has one, ..separate systems functioning together, awaking, eating, sleeping together,,and called one body ?!!

Dimensions

peoples problems are 'real' to them. why should the apparently real things be treated as being real, not as illusion? why should the 'real'ness of one dimension be given due reverence and validity in that dimension when it is all illusion? how much of reality is to be treated as illusion? or rather, if illusions create the apparent reality, retaining the 'reality' in its dimension is necessary to create something worthwhile out of it. If a dot is placed in one dimension and another dot in another dimension, the two cannot be joined and called a line. if it is called a line, then the line exists in a third dimension that has the two dots lying in that dimension simultaneously.. then that line cannot be part of the first dimension, only one of the dots is......looks like logic is an inherent part of things, but then nothing is invalid. everthing has been created as a form, and it has its own entelechy to fulfil or not (??). How come everything created does not go towards its own fulfilment. how come there are stalled ideas/creations/dispersed energies/uncompleted work? if elements generate by an impulse by an absolute presence, then how come the presence becomes not-present and there is no autogeneration from within the forms...anti-particle reactivity? how does this anti-particle thing work? Satan is apparent anti-particle, so must also be the 'anti-particle' itself...or is it an equal force to reckon with, the interaction of both forces creating the field for creativity and all else to show up?
if integrity of one dimension is to be maintained, then there are already 'other' things in a dimension? this does not tie with the 'one' thing (intricacies of the difference retaining the twoness, with perhaps the particle-antiparticle response creating the intricacies, with time and space providing the medium for palpability in a particular dimension. if an element of time and/or element of space is altered, it is another dimension). science and its discoveries now tie in with the thought chain.