(A rambling wanting-to-make-sense-of-things writing that i saved up to read again ..in hopes of making more sense..or find deeper meanings. Thought better saved on this blog than somewhere else and then forgotten)
There is so much i get aware of these days, so much wonder evokes at what i see, hear, sense. It is as if i had never lived, just born in some way very recently. whatever happened in all these years? had i not seen, or what i see now was not at a level that my eye (internal and external) could see?
wonder whatever is distance then, if all there is is just here and now. distance from where? from when the color was recognized to when the form is recognized to recognizing (or is it just awareness more than recognition, where something that became awared is then seen again to be recognized?) that form is just an interpretation just as the color is, that what is is just what is, with a name given to it from the mind intervening and labeling, so have i covered a distance, when the first color became aware and now come to the same sense of there just being whatever it is, and a label. So is distinguishing things after having formed something that is the distance covered? the distance from the first awareness, to the full picture seen and then distinguished into constituent parts? Wonder in that sense if we really 'move', i.e. the baby gets aware of the world, and then learns to label things, and then form patterns and get it complex, until it is all caught up in its complexity that it figues things in its own way until it is very simple as an awareness, which is where it first was when it started. what difference now as an adult? any distance covered? still figuring out how to live, what purpose, what best way to be happy, to be free, creating and then wondering how to create, how to be stress-free?!!, how to have fun, money, power, status, fame, hardwork, strategy, ..and still wanting to have a fun while holding on to interpreted means to get the most simple things in life. searching for it outside while all along its is right there where one is..only having to go the whole roller coster to discover that what is sought is right where one is. is there some manufactuiring defect that we are designed to see outside and go after things to discover what is right under ones nose? the whole circus of life to find what is right under ones nose! happiness, peace, fun, creativity, power, key to life-work-everything, the might and strength to rule the world, to alter reality, have the world at ones command, all under ones own nose, but do the monkey , circus act to get them, be the donkey after the carrot, be pushed, beaten, dogged, hardworked, stress, strain, fatigue, suffering to get what is right under ones nose. manufacturing defect! The creator, if there is one who manufactures this whose puppet thing needs to add one additional feature in the model,.... cant think of a single thing that this puppet doesnt have, but still it goes round and round chasing its own tail. Why cant we just be? is it because there is so many features, so many sophisticated tools that the simplest things cant be gotten? the system is go geared for complexity! right from the first unicellular organism starts the process of complexifying things, greater functionality, adaptation, multifunctionality to on and on...complexifying things. now it is the brain at it, complex games, multitasking, use of sense organs in complex ways, intuition to add to the complexifying machinary. getting the system to be so tense, intense, until the next species or organism or whatever evolves that makes all the high-end functionality of the previous one, child's play, and it starts its own means to make things complex at its level. there is really no point to fighting it. the system is designed for complexity. it is made from really simple things, all common simple things (elemental). What of these elements and in how many ways can one use? it is all mere creation.. all mere resources. child's play. the created becomes the creator..and onto complex things. the most complex things also have the same simple elements. There is enough to keep everyone, at every level entertained. It is really a master creche to have fun. Born to have fun. What games do you want to play? You win at whatever game u play, whatever, always. The world is really at ur feet and for ur taking.
