Mind...antenna

Wonder if at some level each of us are like x-ray capture sheets (the kind that captures the reflected x-rays from the object of study). If the sheet is constant and unwavering, vibes (like x-rays) from sources get received/impacted on the sheet. Guess the 'antenna' is not just limited to the brain. "Mind is not limited to just the brain but the whole body" makes more sense now.

Recreating the echo from the past..

Im the least important, less than insignificant nobody

nothing to lose

What I think/feel/sense don’t matter…its only what and how I do that matters

how does it work?

Im bigger than this…I have more than what it takes to make this happen..or il find out

they care..they are a group with a vision bigger than themselves

mates are unique, self-generative leaders in their own right

have a role to play in the big scheme of things

do or die

This can be done better

How can I add value?

Make it worth the while….time will make it worthwhile

What needs to be done/said?

Hold on…stay put…this too shall pass

Harness, channelize and put it to use..

When the going gets tough..tough gets going

One moment at a time..

There is 100% of the way to go yet

Space dynamics..?

Space dynamics. Move, pause, exit influence.

Clearing..

Things show up in a clearing, so would it be that diseases..new diseases are showing up because there are centers to research and test and discover? Are illnesses tehre because hospitals are there? Is it all a demand and supply thing in all pathways? If so, then other demands may be created and supplies consistent with that be made available. Seen in this light, its not a hopeless world afterall!

patterns..

When the entropy is external, the number of elements involved is volatile....elements add on or minus depending on the view-frame unless there is one aspect of it that encompasses n number of variables and/or unpredictabilities, until that one aspect itself becomes a predictable model, which would then round the whole thing off as one unit...one amongst similar many...or dissimilar many and their unpredictability and variations...and so on. Simplification could become quite complex in itself.

Echoes from a past..

Im the least important, less than insignificant nobody

nothing to lose

how the hell does it work?

im getting left out

they care..they are a group with a vision bigger than themselves

mates are unique, self-driven leaders in their own right

have a role to play in the big scheme of things

do or die

cant I do even this well?

How can I add value?

What needs to be done/said?

Hold on….stay put…there is just a little more to go

One moment at a time..

Make it worth the while….time will make it worthwhile

Harness, channelize and put it to use..

Bring it on…give it ur best shot….try and break me..

Im no female…im barely human..im a force at work..dont mess with me

More later..

Of jobs and mindsets..

After this long, im still incomplete about not having live experience with human anatomy/physiology studies. One step away from actual. conceptual functionalism mostly. Working at one-step away. As jobs tend to make a mindset consistent with the nature of work, wonder how much is my nature of work impacting my connectability with things..is it all one-step away?

Virtual mirror..

A new thought/awareness is taking root these days. Afraid, as usual, that expressing it will take the magic of it away, that maybe i need to explore it in depth before revealing even trivial elements of it. Maybe i need to pay heed to the 'be circumspect' thought. As of now what I am ready to reveal, should it spark another forwarding thought in another, is...what if everything even a fraction of a second outside my personal space is all a virtual mirror..that whatever i feel or am not aware of within me is just getting 'vividly reflected' in the mirror so I recognize and deal with that in 'real' so something get resolved within me...people, situations, places, everything being mere representations/'personification' of some 'form' within to bring about palpability to what is happening within. What is out there is not unreal (it has rules and elements that need honoring in that dimension) but they are mere reflections from a 'projector' within me. Speculating on whether things that others are dealing with is a reflection of whats happening within 'others' (even while being aware that 'other' is a representation of whats happening within me)..but well, its 'confusion zone' there..needs exploring..

Newer likes..

Double-colored textured fabric made more interesting by the play of light. Sparkles.

Scheduled work has a rhythm that can be economized and improvized. Randomness is fun for a while...as the entropy increases, unstability proportionally increases.

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Conglomeration of memes that has stood the test of time and/or has been selected with workability being the selection criteria or construction as opposed to destruction being a criteria has better longevity and easy consumability, better still if they are memes which may have elements common across various veins of thought, beliefs and functionalities.

Curdling the crust..

"As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it."...until the crust is broken so many times it dont matter whether you have it formed or not, you are eating it anyways...or making it with whatever you can lay your hands on!

Of spontaneity and deliberation..

Spontaneous responses quelled, moderated and deliberated. Reactivity controlled. Actions chosen. Amount of energy invested chosen..invested, to create. Is spontaneity lost? Are there other things lost in the process, like the freshness of response, or a form of expession that the other may expect but not received? Does that cause an incompletion at some level? Does that affect how the responder is listened to? Would that make the responder 'cold'? What of those elements unconsciously, intuitively cocreating in the spontaneous response ..or is there anything? Vagueness. Which would be mechanical? Automated default preconditioned responses...instictive almost from preconditioning..or deliberate, controlled, almost methodical. Latter seems scary for the responsibility involved..being responsible for what is being created, for the effects (side effects?), the listening created, the losses/gains, turbulence if any, responsibility for being consistent in function. What if spontaneity be deliberated.

Light

May the sunlight seep into my bones, warm my blood, suffuse the darkness with light, and reflect its brightness in my soul. Almost craving for light...

Synchronization of body, mind and perhaps soul

Synchronization

Creativity..

A form when defined in excrutiating detais, as a work of art itself, brings to life something otherwise not available. There being no right or wrong, it is the element at work drawing from every resource available to make available something. It is an act of creation. When what is created draws on the creator to invest chunks of itself, there are elements in it that are universal, for everyone are made of similar material, function through similar mechanisms, and share several spaces in common. What is thus created touches a nerve through which life pulses.

Movement

From the lower breath to upper breath and further to the self made of knowledge, self made of mind, self made of food and water, and outward through the senses is the pathway of awareness. Once the breath is out, so is awareness.

Rich content. Luscious royal colors. Richness. Dignity and poise. Abundance..and yet unique. Finesse. Intensity and potency. Energy. Volcanic self-expression. Ripples on still water. Tip of the iceberg. Pseudopods.

Expressions..

In a new space now, one where expression in whatever form is intriguing and taking predominance over all else. The stimulus is interesting, yes, but more interesting is the expression itself. It gives a glimpse of the person within, the one beneath all the faces, make-believes and angsts. The uniqueness of the life form revealed in tantalizing bits here and there. It is beautiful whenever seen and it is beautiful still to connect the dots and see what picture emerge. Afraid of responding 'loudly' whenever I get a glimpse, lest it takes cover once again in the make-believe masks. Interesting space to explore. Loving it.

Movements..

Gestures .. body language, conveys depths of thought, emotions, perceptions, subtly and maybe even more eloquently than words do. Unguarded moments of revelation or maybe intentional unworded communication to the discerning. Movements seem to have a language of its own. Its speech invoking a response from its listener through participation, through perception, through means that is beyond the preconditioned modes of sensing/feeling/seeing. The perceiver needs to let loose imagination to find words to describe what the mind and/or body has perceived as having been communicated. I suspect there are layers of expression in this medium too, the number of layers perhaps consistent with the intensity of the mover's particpation.

Communication phases..

Going through another phase in the area of my communication skills. 'A girl with very few words' would have described me well during my girlhood days (or so says mom). Then came a phase of high-end vocabulary through voracious reading (a result of conscientiously training myself to articulate better with more words....always thought people dont understand me). Then came the 'keep it simple' phase (when it dawned on me that people now dont understand 'coz I use such high-end words and in complex sentences!...and a conscientious effort made to cut down on reading, for I thought they are only feeding more words to add to my consternation!). Next came nonsensical phase, with excessive use of body language, too many words used to convey a very simple idea (by when it became pretty clear that none of my efforts is allowing for people to understand what i intend to say better, and worse, is creating misunderstandings!). Now, I suppose is the beginning of 'less is more' phase (I find me tending to say choice words, let the words hang in the air for anyone who may want to grasp it and free to make anything of it as they please, and then dealing with what response I get). Right now this style appeals to me. If not anything else, I am expressing myself, not being overly stressed by the effort of it, and being more brave about dealing with collateral damage from misunderstandings. Lemme watch the scenery on this phase unfold..

Onward movement..

At odd moments, it seems like there has not been any regression at all, like it has only been an onward movement like that of a convection of components, where the components have only been very well stirred to move onward to newer grounds or newer levels. As if What has been learnt has been learnt, not lost in any way, only in some way reperceived, reviewed and modified dynamically, rest else has only been broken and rebuilt into newer forms (?) or realities.

Being human.

Along with the context of what it means to be human, must be an ever-present, subtly all-pervading resignation and cynicism within which peole operate..a broth that cultures comformity.

Presumptions..

It is easy to understand now how presumptions come about. The networks...the expanse of them, the interconnectedness, with only forms being constant, links as diverse and unloyal as they come..or loyal as the situation demands...and hence fickle..allowing for the same situation to occur differently when viewed from different angles by the same person at different points of time, since the reference is different, the context different. Quite a maze there.

Depth to creation..

Things are created by working on in layers bit by bit, detail over detail. If the base coat of an oilpaint was called bad and discarded, the painting will never ever happen.

On a new trail..

Noticed of late that there are things I identify with. Noticed that at least some of them are those that I havent been able to figure out, meaning things I cannot put into the bracket of 'seen the intricacies, know the patterns, know the width and expanse of it and so can now predict the outcomes' type. I wonder if I seek out complexities..seek them out to have my brain do the gymnastics of analyzing, studying for details, forming associations and newer synapses if that, and then seeing something new out of the whole exercise..a fresh breath of 'oxygen' in its otherwise always active processes. I used to notice that I got bored with things very fast, until one day I re-read a book out of sheer perseverence, just so I get used to monotony ..and guess what? I read another story though the book was the same, words were the same, but the story was not the same...like there were 'layers of stories' within the very words. I noticed patterns that I had never noticed..would never have noticed had I not re-read the book. After that book, I wondered if the everyday things that I had earlier dismissed as common and mundane was in fact my oversight..that maybe ordinary things like walking, breathing, everyday casual almost meaningless banter, was in fact just that or had 'layers' to them that required my closer inspection. I am now on a new trail now. Attention to details. Identifying forms. Looking for layers. Oxygen.