the identity is the creation of the self, active or passive, and contains elements of itself in its creation. Satan was a part of the Garden of Eden and fell from grace but he has elements of the angel that he was and has a religion to which he adheres and lives up to the purpose, forwarding and/or refining that which the angels aspire to (says an interpretation of satans story). if negative is positive camouflaged, the identity may not be any different. it is not negative but a version of the same camouflaged, and surviving in the face of its resistence, not having been accepted. a child would do the same adn develop traits based on its interpretation of things and make decisions that defines it character. It seems complexly simple (it may be another interpretation but one worth closely examining, for its details may reveal intricacies that give clue to what makes up the whole, where contradictions are valid and a logically mesh with the whole completing the loop).
the identity has immense potential, being a creation of the self (?). it can make things happen and still find a loop to do its own stuff. if all its energies are channelized into a specific direction, the velocity is unimaginable. if it can be compartmentalized such that it is at 100% at one moment on one, 100% at another moment in another direction, multiple tasking gets a new meaning. if the identity and self are realized as one and part of the same, the lack of resistence or rather the energy of resistence is redirected to construction. The possibilities are immense.
a step taken forward, and the meaning-making machine throws its interpretations, associating and linking existing meanings with new forms the emerge. A process of natural selection goes on from the meaning pool, i guess. A lot of waste generated like the monkey with the decrypter throwing random possibilties together and there is possibly one code in the whole junk that would be the shakesperean sonnet decoded. Needle in a haystack! or the formula for usable datacollection from the junk generated needs be identified, or the leak in the process that gives rise to the waste meanings needs be identified. There maybe a significance generator around that releases the belchable gas. Or the system needs to have a gas-expeller incorporated, much like the toilet in a house, so that does not foul the rest of the system. An organized foul collector.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Patterns
much resistance.. so much of past sitting out there in the future giving my present. reminds of the marathon i was running sometime back. the resistance and perceptions all my own and tearing it through i did run. and how! With such practise i should be able to go pretty far. guess the practise has slackened or the resistance level has slackened or the want to run has gone down or the scenery has gotten more appealing than the goal or the thought of being different and unique (abnormal) and having to fight it allover again is slowing me down or the meaning of what the past had represented and the fight through has been interpretted in a disempowering way that decisions made along the way is now constraining me to run a similar track. the experience and discoveries on the past run being priceless, the decisions still holded onto. ignoring does no good. the ostrich does a good job of it in the mud, and gets eaten. .... stuff from the past, undealt with, bringing all incomplete stuff relived constraining me in the present. next crocodile is just resurfacing. breakdown and breakthrough is in the language. whats so and the integrity of whats so oand the learning and fun through it is only what is real...and it is all a choice.
there is only the future I am living into. there is no past. past exists only in language and so does future. there is only the present and the future one is living into, and the future is the next moment , call it second, minute, hour, day, week, whatever blaah. time exists only in language with symbols as structures to keep its existence in place, it is called a clock. things are complexly simple, a conglomeration of simple things, as can be observed in the very chemical constitution of things around with physics holding them in place. simple forces arranged in certain ways. Four unique arrangements identified as distinct, as basic variations and so categoriezed as 4 types. simple elements arranged in varied ways to form 'simple' and 'complex' things. someone called one simple and another more intricate in arrangement as complex. (blah blah... too defensive and eager to invalidate so nothing should be thought through to completion. one too many open windows and the system is sleeping, unable to process anyting further...if that is not blah. the identity's patterns are too obvious not to be recognized at the very incipient stage, but then it is the identity that knows it first and the first to fool the brain not to recognize..Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde indeed). the identity is at play since morning pulling out all stops to restrict. a timetable would be of help. any lapse in the schedule it should be the work of 'it'. the number of things left out not done at the end of the day should say the number of times it was at play and number of time it was conquered. only you can remember to follow the timeline, it will hate it. if it gets smarter, the timeline is still met, things would move be it the work of it or not. the next foreseeable would be quality of work in each item. that bridge will be crossed when i come to it. remember to make the timeline. it is smart and will find a loop through this too, the things done and not done will still speak for itself.
there is a pattern in the apparent haywiredness. a moment of beauty followed by junk and then the self reasserts again and then down, like a cycle. there is so much that the self can tolerate, and then the monotony of it brings back some nonsensing. wonder if the subconscous is aware of this pattern (it is now!) and if so there could be derivable info from the patterning and dismantling, things which cant be otherwise caught, much like a breakdown calls forth closer look and reforming and creation, and using the energy thereof for constructive purposes, this nonsense phase must be hiding something to be discovered in retrospect. too clever this identity, runnign a racket for sure but it has its merits unrevealed.
there is only the future I am living into. there is no past. past exists only in language and so does future. there is only the present and the future one is living into, and the future is the next moment , call it second, minute, hour, day, week, whatever blaah. time exists only in language with symbols as structures to keep its existence in place, it is called a clock. things are complexly simple, a conglomeration of simple things, as can be observed in the very chemical constitution of things around with physics holding them in place. simple forces arranged in certain ways. Four unique arrangements identified as distinct, as basic variations and so categoriezed as 4 types. simple elements arranged in varied ways to form 'simple' and 'complex' things. someone called one simple and another more intricate in arrangement as complex. (blah blah... too defensive and eager to invalidate so nothing should be thought through to completion. one too many open windows and the system is sleeping, unable to process anyting further...if that is not blah. the identity's patterns are too obvious not to be recognized at the very incipient stage, but then it is the identity that knows it first and the first to fool the brain not to recognize..Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde indeed). the identity is at play since morning pulling out all stops to restrict. a timetable would be of help. any lapse in the schedule it should be the work of 'it'. the number of things left out not done at the end of the day should say the number of times it was at play and number of time it was conquered. only you can remember to follow the timeline, it will hate it. if it gets smarter, the timeline is still met, things would move be it the work of it or not. the next foreseeable would be quality of work in each item. that bridge will be crossed when i come to it. remember to make the timeline. it is smart and will find a loop through this too, the things done and not done will still speak for itself.
there is a pattern in the apparent haywiredness. a moment of beauty followed by junk and then the self reasserts again and then down, like a cycle. there is so much that the self can tolerate, and then the monotony of it brings back some nonsensing. wonder if the subconscous is aware of this pattern (it is now!) and if so there could be derivable info from the patterning and dismantling, things which cant be otherwise caught, much like a breakdown calls forth closer look and reforming and creation, and using the energy thereof for constructive purposes, this nonsense phase must be hiding something to be discovered in retrospect. too clever this identity, runnign a racket for sure but it has its merits unrevealed.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
this and that..
undelivered communication. anger at not having gotten something so fundamental, anger at not having distinguished it to people so near and dear, for having allowed it to go so long while i am still around.
there is no easy way to alter reality? it cant be so simple, like a will and wish and off, something new happens! like magic? it is not like blink of the eye?!? it is when im in the same world as another, and no so much seeped in it, that i see the big picure and know why are things the way they are and where is it leading to and why, totally in sync with it that the illusion of it can be magicized. there is no reality to it anyways. it is a dimension several depths/heights/levels intricate.
Once again, i wish for a virtual ctrl+f button to find me things im searching for!
It is so easy to forget ourselves and be the story, participation is all that is required. Participation is necessary for the story to continue in any direction, and that is the very same thing that inspires no-detachment. Be in water, surrounded by water, seeped in water, but not wet.
body and mind are connected (again!). Suppression lifted and congestion/cold off!
The true test of anything is when the rubber meets the road. Things in the laboratory has not made a difference, neither has things in the head.
there is no easy way to alter reality? it cant be so simple, like a will and wish and off, something new happens! like magic? it is not like blink of the eye?!? it is when im in the same world as another, and no so much seeped in it, that i see the big picure and know why are things the way they are and where is it leading to and why, totally in sync with it that the illusion of it can be magicized. there is no reality to it anyways. it is a dimension several depths/heights/levels intricate.
Once again, i wish for a virtual ctrl+f button to find me things im searching for!
It is so easy to forget ourselves and be the story, participation is all that is required. Participation is necessary for the story to continue in any direction, and that is the very same thing that inspires no-detachment. Be in water, surrounded by water, seeped in water, but not wet.
body and mind are connected (again!). Suppression lifted and congestion/cold off!
The true test of anything is when the rubber meets the road. Things in the laboratory has not made a difference, neither has things in the head.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Limits.
Anytime there is a scope for breaking free from a boundary/limitation, the tensile strength of that boundary is revealed. Its strength, the conversations that hold it in place, the fears, anxieties, the worst probable futures, things that have gone wrong after working through and getting right - the latent strength of the identity is exposed. The stronger the act, the bigger the possibility!
'Thought' conversations
there is a discord between spoken words, written words and thought words. What is thought is not as easily expressed in writing (because of electrical connections that keep the circuit complete?), or spoken and gotten as is thought through (because the neural channels to produce sound and receive sound are not the same as written?). How does thinking words happen? It is possible to have an entire monologue, very succinct and detailed, even visualize the letters (morases),,but how does the cojplete conversation happen? in the absence of a capturing media, the brain strings ideas together, much as a pres\requisite to sequenced sensible writing or speaking. the process is similar only incipient and faster since it is not slowed down by what it takes to write or articulate or the process that ensures a speech is gotten. in the absence of cross mechanisms the bbrain shoots away at its pace. it shoots away as long as there is a thinker that directs the thought, captured in the brains own clipboard, retained as long as the same thought is retriggered maybe until a synapse is formed?. The same pathway can be reignited when another vein of thought is activated forming interconnections and an insight as a result happens from the crossconnection. the meme ecosystem for creativity seems to become valid perhaps with further thought or maybe it is an 'also' process.
Musings..
Have taken to semi-conscious writing since some time now. When I say semi-conscious, I mean starting with a conscious voiced thought on a notepad/word document and then allowing fingers to do their job while I semi-consciously follow a thought sequence through to a conclusion, while my fingers do the job of a typist capturing it. Kinda brings Bruce Willis' 'sixth sense' to mind, the part where he narrates a process of writing on paper, and writing beyond the point where the mind is consciously doing the work, until the brain is only partly aware that it is writing; I guess it unlocks his subconscious mind's ramblings on paper. Well, whatever be the process, it is certainly therapeutic to me. Been saving some of them here and there and thought it would be worthwhile to bring it all together in one spot. I call them Musings..
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