Submarine'ing

Don't know about everybody else, but I have a peculiar habit of sorts. When I am seen doing something, I stop doing it and submarine, meaning I do it somewhere else where I won't be seen only to stop doing it again when seen doing there and submarine again. It is like playing tack in a queer way. I do know we each have a vulnerable self, one that shies away from being judged and found wanting, from being made fun of, from destructive criticism,..from being treated as anything but as whole and complete. We each are in a journey of some sort, at least I am, trying to make sense, a coherent sense, of the world I find myself inhabiting, often feeling like an alien visiting a strange planet with several things to like about it and like enough that I want to poke around and know everything about it if I can, amazed by a lot of things, want to make friends with the inhabitants and whatever there is that would respond in any way people/animals/plant/stone/forces of any kind/moving/unmoving...several things in this strange planet fascinating. Often feel I dont know the language the inhabitants speak and have to figure out how to communicate with them. Sometimes see them look at me like they have just noticed my 'alien' antenna or alien skin color/tone and will question me about it! Don't think the inhabitants would appreciate much that I notice things about them and about living life on the planet. Do feel lonely sometimes and want to talk alienese but haven't found anyone who speaks alienese the way I do and so have to resort to voicing on posts like this one, and submarine every now and then.