I just love ranges.... 0 to 10, least to max, base pitch to octaves, minus to extreme positive. They are dualities too, but they are ranges to be experienced, not quite understandable conceptually or gotten intellectually..needs to be experienced..i guess.
Stuck in rules and expectations (meet them...trying to meet them...or rebeling and so not meeting them, but nevertheless playing within the gammut of expectations and rules). Im stuck in them. Cant paint my own stuff, play whatever i may want to think of as music, write whatever i want, do whatever i want..without bumping against some preset/preconditioned expectations. It is like a default encoded something that just keeps going on and on, and if im not present to it, i could go on for days on end like a machine (no thought, no nothing)..like a machine..eat at a particyular time, sleep at a particular time, brush in morning, .everything has a preset time and slot....no need to think..it is so automaton-like. HAVE to wash up after eating, have to brush, have to ...everything. Unless i know what it is not to, and how it feels not to, it is not my choice at all, just a mechanical rut ingrained into me by upbringing (because someone asked me to do, but have no real clue except as a concept..and intellectualized..as to why i should. Not because i FEEL dirty and so, or because i am hungry,... not much is my choice but a handed down set of 'dos'). ....so the point is, i dont really know the range of things in an experiential domain. This may sound pretty dumb, but it seems like i dont really know how to be free.
Stuck in rules and expectations (meet them...trying to meet them...or rebeling and so not meeting them, but nevertheless playing within the gammut of expectations and rules). Im stuck in them. Cant paint my own stuff, play whatever i may want to think of as music, write whatever i want, do whatever i want..without bumping against some preset/preconditioned expectations. It is like a default encoded something that just keeps going on and on, and if im not present to it, i could go on for days on end like a machine (no thought, no nothing)..like a machine..eat at a particyular time, sleep at a particular time, brush in morning, .everything has a preset time and slot....no need to think..it is so automaton-like. HAVE to wash up after eating, have to brush, have to ...everything. Unless i know what it is not to, and how it feels not to, it is not my choice at all, just a mechanical rut ingrained into me by upbringing (because someone asked me to do, but have no real clue except as a concept..and intellectualized..as to why i should. Not because i FEEL dirty and so, or because i am hungry,... not much is my choice but a handed down set of 'dos'). ....so the point is, i dont really know the range of things in an experiential domain. This may sound pretty dumb, but it seems like i dont really know how to be free.
Oh you already ARE free.
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