defensive..

Much is unsaid between words. Expressions give away. Pauses give away. Tone give away. Eyes give away. What would it take for that playful happy self to not get defensive and take cover...to jcome out of the cover and just be? Words richochete within and interpretations/connotations ... better to be safe and have a guerilla warfare (!). what will not cause that effect? Not making/made wrong! Approval! A sense that it is ok..that it is safe. What bonds in the network of 'safe'?