in conscious action..

uncertainty. confusion. doubts. wary trust. right/wrong? good/bad? morality. smallness. little girl bewilderment. defensiveness. hidden 'knowing' with doubt of the knowing. muscle not built up to support that knowing in conscious action. weak will and strengthened disempowering convos. dump of charcoal on uncut carbon. dare not even to name with confidence. serious lack of muscles to support the core. None to blame. .afraid of damage caused/causing. games are bigger. untried. uncertain grounds. stakes are higher. steps have repercussions. willingness to deal with consequences, but the delicacy of matters, attention to the finest details, the delicate interconnections, irreparable damages any? doubt my own sensitiveness, best course of action?  list teh possible courses of action and gauge consequences. presumptions? unaware data? lack of training?   action and reaction. reaction guiding next action. swiftness. instincts. there is no right way. actions and actions.          whats the intention and what is getting created. whats the gap. actions. all else mere details. velocity? timeline. SMRs. My project(s). Willingness to jump out of skin.  this moment being better than the last. knowing the network that holds the knower and that which holds the IT. Inner outer world sync. too many things to remember. Gap. future in present. word actions. thought actions. actions. Gap. It is a lonesome journey. come alone go alone. whats in between? is it really alone? whatever is real does not look for reassurance. whatever isnt needs to know. what is real has elements in common. timeless. always at all times being watched, judged and evaluated. constantly. unrelentingly. inner and outer. mercilessly. no respite. There is no one out there watching over. No guardian angel. Totally exposed for everyone to see, in and out. Nothing belongs to u. u own nothing. u have zilch. Everything u do is magnified 100 times in impact and effect. the slightest movement has unmeasured magnitude.