A leap of faith

Roads meander through known and unknown grounds. Conjectures keep me watchful. Truths on my path. There are spaces in between that, as always, are filled with several levels of I-dont-know well enough but know that prudent courage is more important than ignorant/arrogant waiting. Yep, there are these spaces too.

'I am the one whose life I live' has no alternative

The fact is it is my life I live. There may be theories about alternative universes or parallel spaces from quantum states and the likes but the fact remains that what happens in this moment in time is after the causal physical fact of what happened in the previous. An alternative universe/space has the effect from what happened previously in that space and may and may not have influence on this depending on how much I include aspects from that alternative space in the present moment by which something becomes possible in this and therefore the next moment has the effect of it. Nevertheless, that alternative space has me, even if as an alter ego or whatsoever, but it is me, not somebody else, even if that me is a theatrical version of me whose affects contribute by refraction within the spectrum that is my-space and gives me range to derive and arrive from. It is moot point to think somebody else could have done better or worse because the fact is I am here in this physical space doing what I am doing as a consequence of laws of physics in this space because of which I factually am doing what I am doing in this lifetime.

Tea-time

A cup of tea. Sometimes a steel tumbler. Sometimes a china with blue prints and a nice saucer -  La Opala. Several flavors to savor for different moods and different occasions. With someone or a group of someones or alone. There is a dialogue that happens between the cup and the drinker, between the tea and the taster - quiet, profound somuchso that volumes may be written on what transpires between the ingredients from their different origins in the liquid that it got brewed in by the hands in its different moods that gave just that amount of tea leaf and just that many grains of sweetness, between the range of tastes as the temperature cools down between the time it got off the stove to the last sip, and the umpteen things that goes on inside the drinker-taster before, while and after drinking. A cup of tea. Sometimes I think the real companion at tea-time is just the tea in the cup and that all other details are over and above that companionship, and oftentimes that is the one least appreciated except as a taste that remains as a reminder of the fact of tea-drinking. It is the little things.

To hold the sacred flame of madness mindfully

Alone in a space - a loft perhaps - a thought raised its head wanting to think it's way through the humdrum around that seems pretty meaningless unless made sense of, and how else to do that than to put 2 n 2 together? If it holds any water and it makes sense, then put another few Lego pieces together and see if it makes sense. Burning somewhere is a topic that knows no beginning or end but burn it does; like there cannot be smoke without fire, wherefrom this fire. Now that it is here, that which fans this alive must tell of its nature, ay? A toss, a turn, a skip, a churn, in search of its lyre, I find a little cove that might as well be the kind of rabbit hole that Mr.Rabbit went into at the start of Alice's journey into Wonderland. Rest is herstory.

Happyness

I am faced with a strange conundrum: I AM happy but how do I 'be' happy? 'Be' is a verb in the present tense, grammatically speaking I suppose. Does 'doing happy things' have one 'be' happy? Then how about a doctor? He/she treats people who have injuries and are sometimes in pain and in all kinds of emotions. What would have a doctor 'be' happy when he/she is treating such people? The joy that he/she is doing something to heal/cure them of their ailment? How about having to cut through something like burnt skin or scars that are infected and seeping fluid? That requires great love along with the joy that only doctors would know who are actually doctoring an ailment. Somebody who goes through the motions of treating would not know this joy. I go through stuff with/by/for people because it is part of what is required to heal/cure, and it is not all smilable stuff; it hurts and brings up all kinds of emotions that I have not seen the sublime versions of, that essentially are various forms of love, I thought, but various forms of joy? I suppose one can BE happy as a present tense verb with sufficient practice, or perhaps the phrase is 'with sufficient cooking in the emotions until joy emerges as the essence' like the oil that separates once ginger-garlic-tomato is sufficiently fried. Happyness is then quite a sublime thing too, at least now for me theoretically. Will Spaces it once I discover the experience of it.

Shalom

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An In-between

In a bit of curling up underground space. Stuff to mature in the mind/intellect/spirit's brewery and somethings cannot be hurried but then there are also things that need to be done - one step ahead of the other as the activities of daily living is to continue meanwhile, not somehow anyhow but meeting certain quality standards. I cant seem to find a space good enough to be active AND passive in except in my self and I seem to be having some adjustment issues with that. It is not so much about the extraordinariness of it as much as it is about the lack of ordinariness. It takes some getting used to; perhaps a bit of in and out until the ordinary can be appreciated in the extraordinary and the extraordinary can be appreciated further in the ordinary until perhaps I can be comfortable in this leg of my journey. The new certainly needs some getting used to. Spaces!