A question

What do people listen to/look for/search for when listening, interacting with, exploring places and people, I wonder. What ticks a person? For sure, they don’t hear what I want them to hear, don’t see what I want them to see. They, more often than not, get a different story to the one I intend to be heard. Reminds me of an amoeba that puts forth its pseudopod blindly to hold onto something that is stable? Likes? Safe? And then once it finds such a surface, rolls its body into its pseudopod and then rests for a while until it does it all over again. The story of evolution then exists, not in the annals of history, but in our very everyday mannerisms of living. If there is the amoeba-like mind state, there is also the fish and snake and tiger and monkey and neandrathal and homo sapien-like mind states. I wonder who looks out at me from those eyes and what does it look at, and what does it see. I could go into the neurophysiological mechanics of what the living structure of a body with its anatomy and physiology makes possible, and also the limits, but none of that touches that which sees/feels/thinks/hears lives within the mechanisms of that biological body. A case of "knock, knock, who's there?"

Fauna in me home!

Posting a draft saved up from a few years back, when I was being taught by fishes on how to be human.

My second non-human Earthmate made an unplanned entry into my life. (The first being a tiny puppy named Mickey and I am not over its abrupt loss some 20 years later). It is actually 2 of the water-exploring finned members that I havent really figured out the name of. The aquarium shop owner called it Tiger fish but Google search does not reveal any Tiger fish that looks like this one. I bought two and then not knowing how much feed is appropirate for 2 fishes (this being my first ever take-of-it-by-myself experience with no overseer around), and I thought these fishes ate a lot (because I tend to eat a lot, so why should I think other beings wont eat well enough?!) I put enough for 2 I thought only to find the tank quite cloudy the next morning. I thought they would clean it all up by evening only to find one of them floating on the surface and wont wake up. I buried it (as a kid, we used to bury ants and lizards that we found dead in the backyard, we did feel quite a lot sad for them Earthlings). I had not thought I would need to do so for one I bought at a shop and died after a feed. I should be feeling terrible right now, but I do and dont too. This one in the tank was quite a spirited one, but is kind of lonely by itself. It came from a swarm of fishes in the shop, you see, and I bought 2 so they are company for each other while I am away from home in office. This one is now pecking at the food thinking its own thoughts, I imagine. It is a beautiful water-dweller, this fish. I dont dare call it a name.

In-between spaces

It's because of these in-between cities between spaces where people don't bother to pay attention to coz they are busy living within the narrow bandwidth of their visual acuity or field of vision with peripheral vision reduced to a blur or nonexistent for all practical matters except in an accident or so and then it is just an oh that's so and then maybe a vision correction that there are walls in a house. Just like walls within the spaces in their mind or the mind-house or let's say walls in their hearts. Rumi says 'your job is not to find love but to discover all the walls you have built against it.' Makes sense. Peripheral vision. Correcting peripheral vision through noninvasive selfdev practices is the way to also bring down those walls that keep people fighting and behaving non-EarthFamily like, like adolescents!

It helps to word-rant it. I then can sleep that I put the concern out there in the world for someone to pay attention to while I figure out the best way to have my Work be understood/communicated and benefitted from. Ergonomic concerns.

A leap of faith

Roads meander through known and unknown grounds. Conjectures keep me watchful. Truths on my path. There are spaces in between that, as always, are filled with several levels of I-dont-know well enough but know that prudent courage is more important than ignorant/arrogant waiting. Yep, there are these spaces too.

'I am the one whose life I live' has no alternative

The fact is it is my life I live. There may be theories about alternative universes or parallel spaces from quantum states and the likes but the fact remains that what happens in this moment in time is after the causal physical fact of what happened in the previous. An alternative universe/space has the effect from what happened previously in that space and may and may not have influence on this depending on how much I include aspects from that alternative space in the present moment by which something becomes possible in this and therefore the next moment has the effect of it. Nevertheless, that alternative space has me, even if as an alter ego or whatsoever, but it is me, not somebody else, even if that me is a theatrical version of me whose affects contribute by refraction within the spectrum that is my-space and gives me range to derive and arrive from. It is moot point to think somebody else could have done better or worse because the fact is I am here in this physical space doing what I am doing as a consequence of laws of physics in this space because of which I factually am doing what I am doing in this lifetime.

Tea-time

A cup of tea. Sometimes a steel tumbler. Sometimes a china with blue prints and a nice saucer -  La Opala. Several flavors to savor for different moods and different occasions. With someone or a group of someones or alone. There is a dialogue that happens between the cup and the drinker, between the tea and the taster - quiet, profound somuchso that volumes may be written on what transpires between the ingredients from their different origins in the liquid that it got brewed in by the hands in its different moods that gave just that amount of tea leaf and just that many grains of sweetness, between the range of tastes as the temperature cools down between the time it got off the stove to the last sip, and the umpteen things that goes on inside the drinker-taster before, while and after drinking. A cup of tea. Sometimes I think the real companion at tea-time is just the tea in the cup and that all other details are over and above that companionship, and oftentimes that is the one least appreciated except as a taste that remains as a reminder of the fact of tea-drinking. It is the little things.

To hold the sacred flame of madness mindfully

Alone in a space - a loft perhaps - a thought raised its head wanting to think it's way through the humdrum around that seems pretty meaningless unless made sense of, and how else to do that than to put 2 n 2 together? If it holds any water and it makes sense, then put another few Lego pieces together and see if it makes sense. Burning somewhere is a topic that knows no beginning or end but burn it does; like there cannot be smoke without fire, wherefrom this fire. Now that it is here, that which fans this alive must tell of its nature, ay? A toss, a turn, a skip, a churn, in search of its lyre, I find a little cove that might as well be the kind of rabbit hole that Mr.Rabbit went into at the start of Alice's journey into Wonderland. Rest is herstory.